Remembering Dad on Father’s Day with Growing with Grief

On Wednesday June 12th, the Growing With Grief community came together for our annual Father’s Day event. Bereaved families joined in to honour and remember a father, step-father, or father figure that has died. Families created “Memory Gardens” by planting notes for their person in the soil. They decorated the pot and added a vine to the soil together with their memories and feelings. Tending to the plant can symbolize nurturing one’s connection to the person who died and can be a way of caring for yourself on your grief journey. 

This event invited families to be with their grief and come together to discuss how they wanted to approach Father’s Day this year. 

Many families attending for the first time shared that the gathering felt inclusive and that they were glad they gave the event a chance. One caregiver shared their gratitude for the timing of this event, helping their family to ease into conversations about Dad. For some caregivers, this was the most their family had spoken about Dad since his death. Talking about death, dying, and grief isn’t easy and practicing helps us grow our comfort with it, not unlike practicing any skill that is new to us. Slowly beginning to talk a little bit at a time, we can build our comfort in talking about the person who died, and the next time may feel a little bit less challenging when we speak about our feelings.

“Community” and “humanity” were some of the most important takeaways caregivers said they left with. An overwhelming number of attendees said that they felt comforted and less alone by being with others who were also grieving. One of the goals of the Growing With Grief program is to provide a welcoming space and ensure that everyone who walks into the room feels cared for. Our hearts feel happy to know through feedback, that this was felt and received by those that attended. 

While our event centred on loss, we take pride in modelling that we can also laugh, be silly, and welcome all of the feelings that may be in the room. Many youth shared that they entered feeling nervous or unsure, and left the event feeling loved and happy and that they had fun. It was wonderful to witness youth building connections and community in unique ways.

It is a poignant experience to be in a room filled with grievers seeing some familiar faces and greeting new ones. Each time we come together as a community we’re reminded we are not alone. We are reminded that joy and pain can exist at the same time. One parent wanted other families who are grieving the death of a family member to know that “there are resources and a community ready to support”. Growing With Grief is one such community. We thank all of the families that spent their evening with us and shared their thoughts, feelings, and memories. 

We are grateful to our partners who supported this event, ensuring its success. Contributors include Project Give Back and their donation of copies of the book The Puddle Jumper written by Beverly and Ellen Schwartz. Thank you for seeing the value in grief programming and for your contribution to our Father’s Day Event. Yorktown would also like to thank Islington Nurseries for providing a 20% discount on the materials for the Memory Gardens—thank you so much for making the Growing With Grief Father’s Day Event memorable for children, youth, and caregivers. We would also like to extend a heartfelt thanks to the members of our Growing With Grief Youth Advisory Committee and our incredible volunteers for their support in making this event a wonderful experience for all of our attendees.  

-The Growing With Grief Team